gulch 7 by Simon Aulman

.


I don't care about the music or the money or the amused lips around my cock or ANYTHING - all I care about is the graph - and a few days ago the stats showed someone had visited via the BC "best sellers" page thingy and I had forgotten there was such a thing. Clicked on the link. There I was - on page 37 !!!!!!!!!!!!! Page thirty fucking seven !!!! Fame at last. 37 out of 190 pages !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! On the same page as Ben fucking Frost !!!! - someone I'd heard of !!!! - someone they'd actually made a long serious worthy documentary about !!!!

A few hours with paper and pencil and I worked out that I was just scraping inside the top 20 percent !!!!! It's like having a chart single !!!! Back in the days when that stuff mattered. And these aren't the days when this stuff matters. And I'm only gassing about it now because this time next week I'll be back on page 190. But this is the closest to glory I've ever got.

The same damn page as Ben Frost. My god - there's glory for you. It doesn't quite hide the fact that this mega-stardom is based on about one download per century and even page two is probably a pretty lonely place to be. But hey - Ben bloody Frost !!!!! My music's as dull as his but I'm a nicer less-bovine less-charmless person than him - so where the fuck are the documentary cameras ???? Don't the hipsters want to hear my views on music ? - that every musician is a dull obedient useless cunt ?

.