Husk by Séraphitüs-Séraphîta

an unrecognizable husk

all health
all potential beauty
lost
no muscle in sight

devoured
by chronic illness

everything
h
a
n
g
s

arms
weak

legs
dead

head
heavy

eyes
sunken

skin
sagging

breasts
lifeless
oh so entirely
lifeless

all gone
but not to age

an unrecognizable husk of horrors

silently
wasting

spirit
dimming

a godforsaken husk




I remember burying my mother when I was thirteen. I can recall placing my hand on her arm during the viewing. I gave it a gentle squeeze. Although I had been to several funerals before, it was the first time that I had ever laid a hand on the deceased. I remember a chill running through me because the sensation of her arm was so foreign and unrecognizable to me. I'm not sure what I had expected, but it wasn't that.

Horrifically, my own body is becoming entirely unrecognizable to me, yet there’s an unsettling familiarity about it. And until recently, I wasn't sure why. With all of its "youthfulness" long gone, my body grows increasingly more reminiscent of a corpse than anything it’s ever been.

In "Husk" you'll hear harsh sounds that embody some of the agonizing physical and emotional loss. Muscles wasting. Tendons ripping. Various breakdowns of the body, and brutal, bone-crushing fatigue. Wave after punishing wave of pain and loss. Sounds of a slow decay.

I consider "Husk" to be a small chapter in my continued effort to reconcile with my own impending death. Five years of chronic illness have taken more from me than I ever imagined possible. Experiencing this in my early (and now mid-) thirties has brought about its own special type of hell. But each day, I do my best to practice gratitude for the people that remain in my life, and for the things that I am still capable of, despite everything.

Multidisciplinary artist. DAW-less, modular, experimental creations. Areas of focus include dark ambient, contemplative noise, drone, HNW, static, granular synthesis, minimalism, conceptualism, surrealism, and dadaism.

https://séraphitüs-séraphîta.weebly.com
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