STAT by Rubber Band Gun

Rubber Band Gun surgically presents....


SUPER CHAPTER V:


STAT


The new musical comedy about healthcare, fame, & sweet potato pie



STAT

book by Dinu Vlasic


ACT 1

On the day of their 1000th show, Henry and Elena Ruth, a silver spooned American brother-sister Broadway duo in their mid-thirties, descend the stairs of their living quarters in the Belasco Theatre (We’re Above The Stars). As they go through their morning warm up routine, the 93 year old rehearsal pianist falls off her bench, dead. As the medics takes her away, Elena’s eye catches the pure white sheet of the stretcher. She sees the striking bright red lines on the ambulance. She smells the sanitized gloves of the paramedics. The theatre director, Mr. Vaudeville, scolds the shows co-stars and stand-ins complaining that they are not fit to be on the same stage as Henry and Elena. The co-stars threaten to walk out on the show, ruining his career (Vaudevillain).

Surrounded by yes-men, Henry feels unable to escape a cloud of approval. His friends and co-stars only say what he wants to hear and what he will agree with. He yearns for a real conversation and a disagreement (Yes Henry). Henry is shrewd yet melancholy in contrast to Elena who, despite her childish persona, is naively romantic and too influenced by feeling and impulse. While Henry mopes about his relationships, Elena’s attention lies with her run-in with the ambulance. She looks at the curtain on stage; dusty, red, dull, and boring. She looks over at the beautiful mural on the ceiling. She huffs, unamused. As she walks across the stage, she fantasizes about being whisked away to a hospital and having her needs met through healthcare (Quality Hospital Life). While Henry is craving a personal relationship that doesn’t hinge on his success, Elena wants the excitement of being on the verge of life/death while living in her vision of a crisp clean utopia. Somehow feeling both a sense of aplomb and hopelessness, they decide that because their combined talents are so great and absolute, the only reasonable next step is to be hospitalized. Together they devise a plan to injure themselves and exit their careers with excitement.

The city is in a frenzy to get to the stage darlings 1000th show and celebrate. The theatre is packed like never before as celebrity after celebrity take their seats. Backstage, Henry and Elena do their final warmups and load a pair of pistols with live rounds. As the curtains are about to go up, US President Rhubarb emerges from his box seat and declares his enthusiasm for the event. After his address is finished, the two open fire on each other center stage, collapsing to the floor to the sound of crowd delirium (Make The Show). 


ACT 2

Elena wakes in a hospital bed to a tall thin older man standing beside her looking over her chart. As she sits up, she looks around in wonder as if she’s entered a magical new land. She inhales deeply taking in the sharp and sedative smell of the rich hygienic central AC. The ceiling lights gleam with a blue and white aura that adds an extra layer of sterility to an already spotless facility. She looks toward the windows at the pure blue curtains, and as she tries to get out of bed, the man stops her, informing her she needs rest. Dr. Ben is a middle aged man, down on his luck and pushed around, who feels that the world has taken advantage of him. Elena sees the doctor is in pain and feels that she needs to care for him and falls in love, although he wants nothing to do with her (Dr. Ben). Henry wakes in a drug induced stupor after having to undergo surgery to remove the bullet from his stomach. In his drugged up state, he instantly falls in love with a woman beside the bed who he dubs as his “Surgeon Mary” when in reality she is a nurse practitioner checking his vitals (Surgeon Mary). Both Henry and Elena make advances on their love interests but to no avail. After 5 days in the hospital, Elena is to be released but she sabotages her own recovery by stabbing herself with a shiv. The duo reunite and discuss how they’ve been having the same dreams and that they both want to stay in the hospital (Dreams??).

Back in the real world, the public has started to flock to the hospital in hopes of seeing the sick pair. It seems the Ruths popularity has skyrocketed after their “accident”. Henry continues to pursue “Mary” who he learns is really named Elizabeth. He goes to great lengths to get noticed by her but nothing changes until he sculpts a model of a brain from a collection of gum of a brand that she often chews. With her attention, he confesses his love for her in the most tenderly way he can, in song (Intravenous In Blue). Elizabeth turns him down and reassures him that when he recovers and returns to the stage he will find happiness. For the first time, both Ruth siblings can't get what they want most, and it dawns on them that for them, the hospital is a place where they can constantly be in repair and a state of "progress".

After 16 days in the hospital, Henry and Elena are both set to be released the following day. After allowing fan letters to pile up for weeks, they decide to open a few (Letters To The Ruths). On the bottom of the letters is an unmarked package addressed to the Ruth family. They make the decision to put on a make-shift play in the hospitals auditorium. They call their agents and send out a notice for the Ruths comeback show. The word spreads quickly and before they know it, requests are coming in from all over to attend. The auditorium fills with broadway enthusiasts, celebrities, and hospital staff. Inklings of conversations are heard about their last show and those lucky enough to have viewed it. Some attendees carry signs expressing their love for the duo and wishing them to “Get Well”. As the show gets ready to start, President Rhubarb once again emerges to make another presidential address. As Henry and Elena, take the stage, they pull out the loaded pistols that were mailed to them, and shoot each other in the chest (Music Man). The stage is rushed by dozens of doctors as the curtains fall. 

a Historic New Jersey recording artist

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