Katy Kay from Upland Stories by Robbie Fulks

I set out from Poor Valley, for wealth I had to have it
I wed a wellborn woman, as skinny as a rabbit
Now I'm here at this payphone a-beggin' “Katy, listen
I'll trade you half a million for your sweet Poor Valley kissin'.”
Hey now Katy K
Heaven never made one cuter
If I didn't love my Katy K I'd prob'ly have to shoot her
Now some give all their favors to a girl that's lookin' fine But a girl that's sad and weepin' will always win mine When I see a pretty girl weepin' I run to her and fix it When I see a pretty girl smilin' I run to the nearest exit.
The rule to Love Thy Neighbor is a thing I bear in mind
It's the love-him-as-thyself part I can't get behind
Each greeting he cold-shoulders, each smile met with a sneer His wife can love him all she likes while I gaze at the mirror.
The man who is a Mormon, his values are askew
Got more women than he can count, all I need is two
A bag of bones in a diamond ring to siphon off my pay
And a sweet thing down on the edge of town to love my nights away.
 

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• Chicago