The Cryptozoologist from Tender Meat by Laika Loveheart

Ladies and gentlemen if you look to your left,
You'll see what's left scientists most fiercely bereft.
Sits in it's cage it doesn't eat all day,
And only Comes out at night when it wants to play.
Scratch with it's talons, and bite with it's claws,
You always know when it's hungry for more.
Languished around, concocting it's lies,
It's only friends are the spiders that feast on the flies.
It wants you to, notice it,
It wants you to, sit with it,
It wants you to, open wide,
It wants you to, step inside.

Ladies and gentlemen if you look to your right,
You'll see something standing so viciously uptight.
Tigers tail, vipers fangs,
Carrion wing, and helpless hands.
Nothing to do and naught to be done,
But watch it struggle from the rope that it's strung.
Twitching and flailing, arms out wide,
But it's so much safer shut deep down inside.
It wants you to, hear it cry,
It wants you to, meet it's eye,
It wants you to, let it free,
But it wants oh so, hopelessly.

Bite the hand that feeds,
Bite it till it bleeds.
I want you upon the grass,
Tender meat it never lasts.

Bear with me now if you look dead ahead,
You'll smell it's been rotting before you see where it fled.
Vitriol and bile spews out from it's mouth,
It takes fifty men just to clean it all out.
Putrid and helpless, yearning for more,
Sickening, violent, it drips on the floor.
It wants you to, put it down
It wants you to, lay around,
It wants to do, what you want,
It will do just, what you ask.

Ladies and gentlemen would you look where we are,
It seems that somebody has stolen a star.
So we locked it away with a noose on it's neck,
And we'll give it a tug just to keep it in check.
It's hands fly slyly, quick as a whip,
It's tongue is laced with a venomous tip.
But don't you dare don't look in it's eyes,
Veneers of kindness quietly die.
It wants you to, sit right down,
It wants you to, lay around,
It wants to have, you be it's fun,
It wants to be your, oxygen.

Bite the hand that feeds,
Bite it till it bleeds.
I want you upon the grass,
Tender meat it never lasts.
I will savour every bite,
I will take just what I like.
I want to know every taste,
Nothing is going to waste.
Oozing and dripping from my lips,
Another successful hunting trip.
I want you upon the grass,
Tender meat it never lasts.

• Alternative
• Cowboy
• Folk
• Indie
• Queer
• Trans
• Auckland