neocities from rendering... by kitty hell

i kept a web diary for a few months before dropping out of college. a case of chronic oversharing that i'd feel a little worse about if anyone ever actually saw it. kept my name off of it fortunately. i'm a little obsessed still with how long things can last on the internet... i remember being told when i was young that everything on the web will be there forever and maybe to some extent that's true. it seems doubtful to me that the internet will last longer than a blip in human history given the state of the world, but i digress. there's some haunting thought about the old web being a graveyard of memories, and a bastion of things that won't be otherwise remembered.

i wish i could forget that boy.

Tracklist

7.	neocities	8:07

Lyrics

goodbye
to all my closet-dwelling skeletons
to the demons in my head
and the birds that flank my bed
goodbye
i found another place to stay
and i think i'll be o.k.
goodbye

and yet, as angels in brighter dreams
we all may one day fall it seems...

AND YET YOU HOVER OVERHEAD
I'LL KEEP YOUR SECRETS HERE
LONG DISTANCE MEMORIES
DIARY AND GRAVEYARD AS ONE

GOODBYE
to lovers that we left behind
to the city that we loved
to the city that we hate
GOODBYE
remember me not as i am
forget i ever happened
GOODBYE

you can keep this piece--
go and find it if you can.
i would crumble in your hands
but i'll keep this secret here
in a quiet room
in unformatted text
behind a maze of broken paths

to last forever:

would you do the same for me?
leave some fragments of memories?
i can't disappear without a trace
i can't just leave you behind
i can't leave you

as i look fondly back
and worship falling stars
i will keep this memory here
i can't let you disappear
i can't
as i watched you wave goodbye
i was standing at the station
crying
lost you in translation
out of phase and in transition
i can't
i can't leave you like this
you can't leave me like this
i can't leave this behind

STARGAZER
I CAN'T, I CAN'T
I CAN'T LEAVE YOU LIKE THIS
I HOPE YOU GAZE ON BRIGHTER STARS
I HOPE YOU FOUND A BETTER HOME
I CAN'T, I CAN'T

if i leave this here
where the moon came crashing down
you left me here
how could you

where i look fondly back
where i scarcely meet your eye
i will lose this memory here
you can't make me disappear
you can't make me disappear
i can't forget this place

but i will forget your heart
i will forget every star
i will bury myself here
just another broken link

goodbye, stargazer, goodbye

and yet, as angels in brighter dreams
i'll only find you in my sleep
where the moon came crashing down
WHERE THE MOON CAME CRASHING--

WHERE YOU STILL HOVER OVERHEAD
FORGET THESE SECRETS, DEAR
FORGET THESE MEMORIES
WON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT ME?

Credits

from rendering..., released March 7, 2025
alana: vox
ethan: bass, guitar
nina: guitar, backing vox
zakk: drums

carson parker: guitar

music by kitty hell
lyrics by alana daly

License