Legumes from Prepackaged Salad by Jack Bertelli

How many times
Has your mother once said
To eat
Your vegetables please
The green beans and peas

But alas!
A misnomer she speaks
‘Cause beans
Don’t have veggie genes
They’re something else

Technically
They would be

Legumes
What are they?
They’re unique in their own bizarre way
Beans, chickpeas and lentils too
Are considered legumes
They’re special
Not a nut, not a vegetable
Will we ever find the truth
About what’s a legume

JACK: Is that a talking frog?
FROG: Um, hello
JACK: Mr. Frog, do you know what a legume is?
FROG: Oh so you think just because I’m green I know what a legume is, huh?
JACK: I’m sorry, I’m sure it’s not easy
FROG: Nah, I’m just kidding. I know how to play the banjo though!

When did you learn
That your life is a lie
Because peanuts are not what you think
(I’ll give you one guess!)

Technically
They would be

Legumes
What are they?
They’re unique in their own bizarre way
Beans, chickpeas and lentils too
Are considered legumes
They’re special
Not a nut, not a vegetable
Will we ever find the truth
About what’s a legume

JACK: Hey, is that Louis Armstrong?
LOUIS: I see beans of green
JACK: Does that mean you know what a legume is?
LOUIS: Well according to the internet, a legume is a leguminous plant!
JACK: Alright well that’s not-
LOUIS: Trumpet solo!
JACK: Alright…

[Trumpet solo]

JACK: Uh, hey Louis- who are all these people?
LOUIS: Don’t worry about it!

Legumes
(Oh we’re all singing now?)
What are they?
(Alright)
They’re unique in their own bizarre way
Beans, chickpeas and lentils too
Are considered legumes
They’re special
Not a nut, not a vegetable
Will we ever find the truth
About what’s a legume

JACK: Can someone explain it to me like I’m 5?

JACK: I just want to know in the most basic terms.

JACK: And you can’t use the word leguminous- that’s not allowed.

• Jazz
• ensemble
• folk pop
• funk
• fusion
• jazz rock
• rock
• saxophone
• show tune
• Massachusetts