psychlucent by dusty

i invite one and all to experience the first of (hopefully) many personal experiments in music (hip hop, specifically). in my own eyes, it has been a splendid experience with a further-splendid result - strange in the hip hop genre, stranger still in my own musical catalog. something i always wanted to do - something i thought (realistically) i'd neither start nor finish. but alas, here it is. if just one of you enjoys listening to this even half as much as i enjoyed making it, i will deem it a success.

this album is available free-of-charge... that is, if download in its entirety.


dusty



[LYRICS]

"hell's officially frozen"

[hook]
hell, hell's officially frozen


[v1]
early mornin
i rolled off
the wrong side
of the bed, on…
…to flimsy
recollects
of dreamin’
ending abrupt
uhh…
give my eardrums
a little time to adjust
could ya repeat
what ya said?
it went in one end
and out the other
side a my head
there ain’t no
if’s and / or but’s
nuhh, keepin’ it neat
you don’t know
who ya can trust
bruh, I got
my own problems
so get offa my nuts
haaa, don’t keep
a door propped
shit is open and shut

it’s time I got into another
a fight with myself
thinkin I’ll probably win, too
the odds are stacked
in my favor
strikin' south a the belt
off-putting mental behavior
my only form of self-help
in one n quarter
inch paper
fuckin’ stinks the place up
n draws attention
from neighbors
it’s acidic, fuckin toxic, it’s noxious
a pox on my labors
makes about as much sense
as Adam Driver’s lighsaber
how bout it, George?
i bet that shit looked
better on paper

my worst critic
my bully, my own
toughest opponent
i’ve gotta live
with myself
it’s time, confront it
and own it
accept the best
and worst of
all its separate
components
rage is just poison
there’s no need to hold on
confront it, console it
put it all in a song
and move on
a cage of rhythms
to enclose it, enfold it
ya don’t hafta condone it
but ya hafta control it
you gotta drive it
down 290
like ya just
fuckin stole it

these bars,
precision and landrace
intermittently candid
pull the pin and explosive
fuckin fire in the hole man
the eagle has landed
my ego’s still whole and
the seed has been planted, sit
back, max, relax a bit
your wish has been granted

at last, some compassion
that has yet to despoil

trouble navigating the stigma
of my heretical branding

a’waiting for the day
when I can finally go home

ah fuck it, this is the ending


[v2]
lately
when it’s
late at night
awake, caught
up in dreams

reachn for me
like a
poltergeist
inside my TV

ectoplasm
playin nice
with the plaque
on my teeth

the splinter
in the world
could build
a nutshell
‘round me

hell, at this
very moment
I’m surrounded
by screens

two monitors
one for the mix
another
for beats

an Asus
full of script
n to my right
got my weed

c’mon baby
it’s contrite
to lie alone
in those sheets

sorry for the
crumbs of
loose shake
at your feet
n how i
never quit
dancing
even when
i'm asleep

paralysis demon
benzodiazepine

its just my
thalamus
schemin
makes no
difference
to me

the night hag
the hat man
the glow king
the black cat
an all-out attack
i can't seem
to fight back

heads shakin'
disapproving
disappointed
in me

eyes vacant
unassuming
disenchanted
repeat

self-deprecating
ever contemplating
a little left-leaning
unheard, unseen
pot-stirred, nineteen
empyrean
keyword:
self-replicating
artificial, self-cleaning

cat-like, you know
i’m packed light, to go
i’m a kite, high
movin n shakn
groovn to the
type of music
that your dad likes
although
i’ll stay up all night
with a mic
fighting off
the bad vibes in tow
got my temple
sealed up
locked
air-tight
off my temper
feelin’ uptight
waiting, patient,
for that
first glint
of fresh light
to show

i hear a whimper
contemplating
precise, the
moment when
the time's just
right to go

can ya feel
the distortion
comin' up
from the soil?

i'm always
here slanted
if ya need
an eardrum
to bend

probably not
most people
turn away
when it boils

ah, goddamnit
it's beginning again




"choir of angels"

[v1]
if there ain't
nothin' missin'
from your life
from the world
when god's in
his heaven
and the devil's
in hell with
the money
Morrissey earned

even in peace
there's a piece
to be said
where to find
the motivation
to have your
written word read?

too scared to
blind the inclination
stringing lights
in your head

forget the
fractional
distillation
of your precise
letterhead

i'm only one
fuckn man
but i'm a
choir of angels
i'm destined
so i guess
i'm invested

well, i thought
i was all out
of stories to tell
my baggage unpacked
erratic, cracked,
impacted, expelled

i never needed
no wand
only pain
to create
and cast spells

it's when life
comes down crashing
you'll find yourself
masking with
six strings
contrasting
n blasting
bad feelings
quick as a flash
dash, back to
their cells

please, sir -
would you relax
your aortal?
these beats n
these bars
they work
a bit like
a portal
when i'm dead
just press play
n you'll make
me immortal

no elixir nor stone
would even dare
hold a candle
sixteenth notes
can water the
whole Earth from
a thimble
keep your ears open
n listen
is this grimoire
or hymnal?

i'm only one
fuckn manb
but i'm a
choir of angels

wheezing through
throats charred black
eroded by smoke at last
disarming the cloak
cough, choke
the extra weight
puff, pass
a homocercal
light n dark
n one is fading fast


[v2]
foreshadowing prose
but can i do so
in real-time?

adorning an aloe
upon the skin-tone
of its very own
home-grown
canonical decline

can i approach
the present
with that same kind
of primmed n primed
methodical hindsight

stoned, windblown,
i been known
to take a step back
from the hypothetically
regrettable limelight

excrement ferments
turns golden
combating the last of
the fast-dimming
sunshine (yeah)

transposed, slow,
predisposed
to take a
lyrical nosedive

a satirical small-fry
watch the blood roll out
like Carrie White on
an unsuspectingly
m-memorable prom night

before ya close the door
on me from fear of
psychological lapsing
prone to lampoon, congeal
a trite n fuckn posturing etching

just remember this, fuckhead
impossible's catching




"density"

[v1]
guess i slept in
little later
than i meant
too bad, so sad
it is what it is
fuckin' tired o
this grind
think i'll
give it up for lent

life is starting
to ferment
shit was better
when i dreamt
big bad, gettn big mad
standin' on a haystack
stickin' needles in his skin

guess i'm
beginning to resent
n i am brimming
with dissent
trig enough
to circumvent
all the red flags
with a zig-zag
and a letter
of intent

goin back to
my continent
where i don
needa represent
the traditions
n the dead fads
our gun n armor clad
grand-dads
instilled in us
as heaven-sent

guess i'd rather
be a malcontent
or a hippy in
a pitched tent
than a wet-brained
dead fish with
a deathwish
shootin' people
with the best intent

i prefer to fight
with a pen
n i don't give
a fuck if i win
n i need more
than the word of
the president
to partake in
an international
incident

i do it all
for the hell of it
to me, your woes
are irrelevant
your plateau
is far-below
sea level
so in my room
you're an elephant

i guess i just
needed to vent a bit
i'm fuckin goin
back to bed again
the waking world
has the density
of wet cement
n i don
wanna get
stuck in it


[hook]
i'm your density


[v2]
stayed up too late
now i'm carryin
the weight
of disparate days
n no in between
to rinse n repeat
evince n collate
a fresh, clean slate

and now all the
world's a stage
or rather, all the
world's a feign
when the sun
n the rain
at the end of the day
illuminate n
feel like setpieces
rolled away

but all the universe
is my estate
n it ain't up
for no debate
get it straight
you will know
without a trace
of doubt
in your brain
displaced
if i'm fiendin'
for an update

why you think
i'm always baked?
or helpin big pharma
antiquate
man's primordial talent
for chemical balance
that evolved
at the dawn
of days

now we got America
to crowd the plate
step right up
n accept your fate
litany of paraphrased
propaganda form
the bars of
your pretty cage
but don't forget
to say "thanks"

i just try n
go about my day
keep my head down
n acclimate
but every time
i aspirate
i'm suffocated
n castrated
by miles
of red tape

i think about
the court dates
n the officers
who evaluate
so jaded, broke
n beat down
faded, kissed the feet
bound n bent at
the fuckin knees, wow
imagine the restraint

i try to do it
but ah cain't
so miss me
with that shit
please and thanks




"mountains of madness"

[v1]
i got nugs in my bed
from when i
passed out
cold, stoned
another fabulous
evening by
my lonesome
at home
don’t needa light
up my phone
ain’t got no dial tone
just a ravenous
stomach in
this microphone

night after
sleepless night
it still comes
when i call
lets me undermine
its confidence
like a
therapy doll

and when i get
right up close
when i’m busy
makin the most
my breath
through the
preamp
becomes
my haunter
my ghost

my words
on playback
my own
versatile hoax
a blister pack
sealing up the
methods
with which
i cope

waking up
in the morning
is a slippery slope
not to boast
so many chances
to either choke
or compose
to build solid
foundations
or risk being
foreclosed
n exposed
to show the
whole world
a side that
nobody knows

it’ll burn you
like toast

you’ll be
butthurt
like Tom Brady
at the end
of the roast

who can win
the Superbowl
but still can’t
take a joke

sorry bout
the free speech
but this
America bro

gave the
game ball
what his
ego needed
the most
(haha)

an egg white
frozen around
a boiling yoke

most people
get real nervous
when ya
start to emote

n keep their
lost souls
buried
hilt-deep
in the stone

waitin' for
a third-party
to claim it
as throne

bag it, tag it, drag
accountability home


[chorus]
i said
i’ll meet ya
at the mountains
of madness
you n me both
two sides of
this same sadness

we’re flippin
the coin
ya know
we’re flipping
the board n
the boat
dead to
the world
dead to
heaven n
hell both
it’s together
we go

i said i’ll
meet ya at
the mountains
of madness
city of shoggoths
comin up
protoplasmic

there are
some things
i suppose
that man
just wasn't
ever meant
to know

if you knock
i will loosen
the bolt


[v2]
home’ll always
be home
the way it
looks in my head
its relief
meticulously sketched
upon my prefrontal
hotbed

an immaculate
genome
slumped
preserved n
well-kept

contrapuntal,
the gloaming
scribbling
watershed

hop, skipping
n jumping in my
occipital lobe
mouths are
watering,
foaming
hearts
a'thump,
predisposed

for the
loose change
in our pockets
or an
equivocal toke
we could rattle
the rafters
above us
shake loose
greener pastures
the ruckus
ensuing
can be used
as a compass
n maybe could
get us there
faster
fuckn lift up
your trumpets
an alumnus
most honored
and cultus
is right here
among us

but no matter
the manner
of prestige
i can hone

i stutter
n stammer
in the brigue
of time's ebbing
n flow

i can
never return
to that room
the door has
been closed

i'm on
the outside
looking in
i've been
downsized,
my chagrin
watch how
time flies
like the wind

damn, is it cold
let me in




"nightmare fuel"

[v1]
well, it’s 3 am
once again
n I’m approaching
my bed with
a sense of
existential dread
there’s at least
another hour
begging to be fed

check it -

i don’t expect
to see no
sugarplums
dancing
nor any sheep
galivantin
n prancin

maybe menacing
specters
when i wake
tower over me
laughin

i try n move, i can’t
somethin’s
sitting ‘pon my chest
raspin n gaspin
compare n contrasting
condemned, a brim of fear
now it's here
it ain’t passin

fuck, am I dreaming?
rushed tongues n
hushed whispers
plotting n scheming

somebody please
give this baby a shake
my subscription renewed
beneath a fresh sun
a’gleaming

i can see that
its fake
gotta say i'm amused
fuckn smooth
best believe it
had me fooled
to give or take
differentiate
the cuckoo flew
up out its cage
leaving the suckers
who stayed
grumblin
in its wake

now left askew
n choked by rage
i feel like shrieking
all day
keep your distance
for now
fuckin stay away


[chorus]
there’s a
surplus of
nightmare fuel
in my tank

there’s an
unleaded
phantom
fuckn
crashin
my gate

take what
you need, hey
i got stories
for days
i got excess
to bleed, mayne
exsanguinate


[v2]
now it's half past six
daylight pours in
through parallel slits
funneled into my pupils
like a shithouse of bricks

if the decision
were mine
the sun would
get 86'd

fuck it

i don't recall
demandin for no
reckless abandon

but i can't
deaden, dampen
my horizons
expandin

there's a vague
silhouette
grandstandin'
in my doorway
now darkened

ugh, it is morning?
up the whole
damn night
daydreamin'
bout sleepin'

its like a high fever
that i don't
wanna break
i'd rather start cutting
through the trickle
i'm leadin the race

for yet another
failed take
of overdubbing
n flubbing
i fuckin mean it
i'm a tool
a fuckin' bucket, a spade
circumnavigate
an afternoon
in retrograde
no matter how
hard you try
even stooping to pray
all day long's a beat
that came a millisecond too late

who or what the hell am i
after the drive to create
takes an extended vacation
and stays a few extra days
i tend to get a bit
unbalanced and
a little insane
better learn to
fuckn deal with me
i ain't gonna change


[mid-chorus]
angels n
devils on
my right
n left flank

wraiths
left bloated
from the blood
that they drank

it’s like
Agatha wrote it
if you’ll
let me speak frank

Or when Stephen
King floated
IT got better
with age


[outro]
right about now
i'd rather be
be monster mashin'

time better spent
in the graveyard
smashin

sure to
raise the dead
with all of this
fuckn passion...




"this is therapy"

[v1]
this needle’s
been threaded
bolts stripped
n screws loose
red, dead,
n beheaded
the “whose who”
in a mindhouse
i vetted
the fuse has
been lit
the clock
bent me over
and i fuckn let it

from what
did i spawn
n to where
am i headed?
longevity’s
the long con
so don’t even
sweat it
the levity’s
in the race, run
so heavy
to save
in the face of
the pestilent
present
i’m in the
same place
current
as when
my cocoon
fuckn shedded

comin up on
the bootstraps
of what
Christopher
treaded

dog-paddlin’
in the bloodbath
of the vile wreath
he embedded

slow-rattlin’
in a live trap
for a while
beneath
the sunset, it
was capillaries
bloodshot
it was a
musket that
went off
n a shotgun
head sawed off
good relations
been cut off
lost, unresolved
disconnected
n lopped off
to this day
trudging on
like a throbbing
erection
leading them on
heads down
n spot on
slash, thrash
cutting down
(hulk, smash!)
in every direction
gets caught on
resurrection
is dropped off
the lesson
is pawned off
the next one
is long gone
and desecration
ain’t far off

in elation
run ragged, raw

big mad
but ya gone soft

revelations
fuck right off


[hook]
my marbles be rollin'
future's not ours to see

(whatever will be will be
wait n see)

this is therapy to me

que sera, sera, hurrah!


[v2]
it’s here
while it’s here
it’s fuckn gone
when it’s gone
good luck
it does
what it wants
it’ll call
when it calls
to answer
or not
either/or
it's up to you
will you be
gearing
to move
when opportunity
knocks
cuz if not
may as well
go ahead
pound sand
n kick rocks

do you want
this or not?
are you ready
to burn for
a glimpse
of the truth?
to be eaten
alive by the
pieces of you
that you
shlepped off
n stirred up
in a thick
fuckn stew

whoo hoo
mastered
n mixed
quantized
n EQ’d
bounce it
to disk
and quick
get it to you
to pick apart
with your mouth
chew it, digest
regurgitate
spit it out
it belongs
to you now

this is therapy
and its best
when its
cranked up loud

it's fuckn
scarin me
to death
i'm all
tanked up now

a disparity
in depth
that's got me
askin how?

at least
my heresy
is blessed
to be bereft
of doubt

i must admit
i ain’t channelin
it’s something
i’ve been
harboring
since the fuckn
very beginning

an interior
harbinger
whose patience
is thinning

a psychological
chess game
and a
checkmate
impending

though clearly
an ending
basic economics
suggest to invest
in an additional
inning

to beat the
dead horse again

(and again, and again)

and the pattern
repeats

(and again, and again)

until history
exhausted

(and again, and again)

finally decides
its going
to sleep

(and again, and again)

how many
failed reconstructions
must a forefather sow
for his children to reap

(and again, and again)

our generations seem
have that in common
at least




dusty
"(co)lossless"


[v1]
know what?
(what?)
fuck republicans
fuck the democrats too
they’re just different
exhibits in the
same fucking zoo

which clown will it be?
surely one of the two
neither of whom
i would trust with my shoes
if America truly
had the freedom
to choose
would the pages
upon which
its history’s printed
tell the whole truth?
or be redacted
rescinded
did the
spatters of blood
that have long since
turned crimson
dry, leave a stain, and
obscure it from view?

or a trail of
black limos
warning not
to pursue
to cease
n desist
no crime's
been committed
but its
heavily hinted
that if you
push through
as intended
you'll receive
a bit more
than just a
slap on the wrist
n if the problem
persists, man
you're in for
some shit then

certain details
omitted
transmuted
augmented
all my branches
are kindred

my future
is limpid
long-winded
so it appears
my fuckin
spirit's
been lifted

high up on
the crest
of a waveform
contented

where the
pint-sized
problems
of the Earth
are lamented

heavy is the weight
thrown in every direction
compensating for your
corruption, deceptions

mutual inductions,
and veiled insurrections

all the heads
they keep talking
on their idiot boxes
their platforms
now stunted
they’re charm
maladjusted
their values unlocked
their positions
unbuttoned
switched out
and accustomed
and thrust
trickled down
til they’re
smack-dab
upon us
got no leaders
to trust in
all our faces
are flushed
there's a sun
dawning on us
the progression
is as rusted
encrusted
as the newest
colossus
if the format
ain't lossless
go ahead
fuckn toss it


[v2]
hey, guess what?
(what now?)
fuck the electorate
(wait - isn't that us?)
their "university" too
(well, yeah)
fuck superdelegates
in their impotent suits

fuck any and all
who'd have me
jumping through hoops
'specially if we
ain't formally
introduced

if America could
reduce 'stead of
recycle, reuse

would the pews
to which
our senate
is splinted
settle moldy
old corpses
who never once
represented

when the black
n white world
into which
they have drifted
isn't the same as
the one i live in
with you

where the cost
of inaction
is borne off
to the moon
ain't exhausted
reflected
but the loss
is projected
and the ruth
misdirected
where emotions
are scripted
and the soul
from your pores
it poured,
dripped outas liquid
we cannot
coexist, it's
like a planet
of apes, man

n the years are
acquitted
dim-witted
be-shitted
all advances
insipid

it all makes
me sick, it's
revolting
it rotates in
my stomach
til my lunch
is evicted

high up on
a horse
that sits outside
its business

tell me
who n the hell
loves a politician
so much
they’d trail
a flag with
his name
off the back
of their truck?
even a
bumper sticker
is too fuckin much

get a grip
on yourself
don’t act so
outta touch
fuckn tuck in
your nuts
‘murica’s stuck in
a rut

the real war’s
on “splitting”
partitioning
mental and
ideological
conditioning
the cliques
that are forming
thick walls
n locked doors
our egos, their borders
working well beyond
their own bidding
their own souls
in disorder
and in danger
of quitting

linear time is
the asshole
and hindsight
is shitting




"tantrum"

[rap chorus]
when the lowering bars
all clatter to shit
i don't see no harm
in fuckn throwin' a fit
when the questions are hard
and the answers don't sit
another tantrum
may well be it


[v1]
you're Lee Harvey's
first shot
you just fuckn missed
that makes me his second
by comparison, a legend
embedded in your head, Jack
splat!
onto Jackie O's lap
guess the gub'mint
don't even got
the president's back
they ain't organized
enough to be
on public attack
like chickens
still cluckn
after bein'
decap'd
a bald eagle
with no wings
still tryin'
to flap
Lady Liberty
dancin' in the
CEO's lap

here we are
clingin' to a ship
that's sinkin'
searchin' for
someone else
to do all
our thinkin'

but narrow is the
focus of their
lasting decisions

a feral hocus pocus
weaponized with precision

a collision
instrumental in
forming a coalition
with a mission
of design that's
nothing short
of god-given

a cognition
abscission

a doomed
expedition
leading
to perdition


[hook]
here we are
clinging to a ship
that's sinking
searchin' for
someone else
to do all our
thinkin' for us


[v2]
when’s the
last time
you saw a
white picket fence
protecting
segmenting
a nuclear family?
dog, son, and daughter
and a Toyota Camry?

you left it
to beaver
n he squandered it
blandly

your dream’s
fuckin over
and a new one
is coming

your cookie-cutter
closure
quarantined
with the plumbing

you could open
up your arms
instead of
taking off running

but your demographic
came up on
segregating
and shunning

okay, b-boomer
thank you for
this fuckn
cyclone of shit

you should be
grateful that
we weather through
your apocalypse

instead
you're steadfast
in pretendin'
we're the cause of it

you're world
no longer exists
your one-size-all
fits attitude
went out
with the flip




"prognosis negative"

[v1]
a little late in the month
to be trolling for pills
either way, i got
a synapse to fill

come to think
i’m overdue for a refill
ready for another
timelapse,
a backtrack, perhaps
track a map to
a former hill

all night long
things go bump
fuckn gives me
the chills

what BB said
'bout the thrill
bein’ gone
may be true, still
i need fresh water
in my gills

tampering with
my ilk
hampering my
free will

feel a bit like a
symbiotic slug
who be lackin
a trill

fallin' ill, caught a
psychotropic bug
fought it off with
a little love
fuck!
brittle bones
tensing up
the contents
of the bowl
crumbled up

i ain’t hearin' no bell

fuckn hell
nevermind
shit is all
well n fine
long as I can
wriggle my
way inside
Terry Farrell

de Boer’ll
do in a pinch
but i prefer
the primo shit
the OG, the Diesel
the kush, haze
the widow
(the granddaddy purple)
i ain’t bitchin
i’m still pitchin' a tent

i’m still catchin' a whiff
if you’re catchin' my drift

i needa differential
diagnosis
i don’t accept
the prognosis

ya know
my path
is elliptical
least until
the door closes

man, relax
i’m just Max
n my Dax
is habitual

cut the crap
don’t look down
your damn noses
at me, fuckin cynical

my attitude
is residual
my state of mind
is congenital

like a good-hearted
army with a
hard-headed
general


[v2]
they just
fiendn for
a jump
i’m only
doin’ the same

but they
gotta have
someone
to blame

to you, it’s
just a job
but to me
it ain’t no game
if a lie paints
a portrait
guess i fit
in the frame

trim the fat
mic check
stretch the belt
round my neck
cut the thought
interacts, intersects
through the flow
of my breath
n now our
thinkin’s the same

even drinkin'
got ya beat
in the brain

i’m your
morning
hangover
i’m a
headache
that just
won’t go away

pretty soon
i’ll be a migraine
i’ll put a damper
on your dream
i’ll make it rain
on a sunny day

i’ll be the
death of you, patient
in the back
o your mind, latent
until that look
glosses over in
your eyes, vacant

thank you
i’ll be here
all fuckin week


[v3]
don't ever fuck
with my slope
or vote
to drain me
of hope
nope!

through a funnel
leads straight
down your throat

my set of skills
is particular
same is true
of my
extracurricular
my random tells
are molecular
you’ll catch
your death
on approach
fuckn hell
if ya don’t adjust
your tone
n vernacular

please don’t
expect me
to cope
or to smile
keep my nose
to your shit
if you’re
shakin up
my vials
on the regular

gotta car
can't afford to
gas it

if i drop
fuckn dead
got nothin saved
for a casket

everyone's lookin'
for an auto-tuned
canary to carry
that familiar old
melody that they
don't have the
pipes or the balls
to sing

this is
precisely why
we can’t have
nice things




"eat your darkness"

[v1, part 1]
oh well
looks like
my parade’s
been rained on

is that really
so colossal
as fresh hell
to complain on?

intermittently
i’m the epitome
of grayscale
been the same
since day one

there’s a devil
in the details
but all that’s left
is a bygone
to be a bygone

i’m a red-tail
you’re the
black swan

i’m like
wholesale
you’re eidolon

need a
wive’s tale
to get high on

gimme
diamonds
fuckn shine on

or a hot take
to fuckn bite on

there are
low stakes
on display
in the window

behind a
locked door
a memento
to depend on

you're a cycle
i'm a Livestrong

if i'm a psycho
you're a barong

i'm acute and
you're the life-long

i'm the scribal
you're a prologue

fly-by-night, i
guess it's "so long"

side-by-side, we're
fuckin all wrong

you are perfect
you're a stacked god

i'm autistic
i'm a retard

i'm a dickhead
i'm inadequate

i'm an addict
unattractive

you're a new breed
you're a level-up

i'm a coward
i'm a motherfuck

i'm incapable
i'm an invalid

crybaby, i'm a
piece a shit

i'm a liar
n i'm selfish

loser, douche
i'm a bitch

i'm not a man
i look homeless

you're a lady
and you're "flawless"

opportunist
not a cash-grab

absolutist
fuckn smack dab

gaslighter
olympic-level
n all-nighter
fuckn backstabbed


[v1, part 2)
dyed in the wool
lies squeezin
through teeth
on a straight face
pathological

a drowned, dirty pool
thighs heavin
in sync
atop waxed bait
theological

masters degree
in projecting
competing
to illuminate
psychological

i said i’d
always be there
but now i’m not
cuz you know
accountability
it's a melting pot

low-hanging fruit
suspended, akimbo
in primordial soup
losses entombed
like a pharaoh

it’s fuckn christmas
sing a carol

eat your darkness,
i’m washing my hands
of this whole affair

oh, fucking don't
act like i never
told ya so

straight n narrow
lock, stock, barrel
anti-hero

eat your darkness
i'm living with wolves
til i'm fuckin feral

til i weave up
and spool
a more positive herald

eat your darkness
n convert it to stool

eat your darkness
n purge your
judgmental fuel

eat your darkness
i'll need at least 7 grams
to curtail my Jekyll

but since i don't
give a damn
guess i'll just
sit back n heckle


[v2, part 1]
ah hell
i dunno
where i stand
with no one

would it hurt
to be a little
down to Earth
in the hot sun?

know a little
too much
and that's
fuckn no fun

you know
most times
i prefer
a little herb
to get away from

the batter ram
all buddy-buddy

roll, tumblin'
goin muddy-muddy

i'm of limestone
you're of silly putty

i am moving
you are steady treading

i’m a cicatrix
you’re a wet scab

i’m a quick fix
you’re a long nap

i’m dynamic
i’m the everyman

you’re magician
shapeshifter

i’m an archetype
you’re the trickster

i’m protagonist
you’re peripheral

our interaction
too predictable

for an audience
to be believable

another season
just isn’t feasible

is this hiatus?
or are we cancelled?

was it a clipshow
or a timelapse?

was there subtext
in the syntax?

cliffhanger
did we climax?

shinplaster
for a reboot?

doppelganger
fuckin re-cast

does it matter?
started out doomed

give the legacy
a little breathing room


[v2, part 2]

that's me -
old reliable
salt of the wound
of a gaped Earth
certifiable

i’m in the pulsating
womb of the urn
neath the wick, burnt
undeniable

you’re in the
market for
fresh nooses
to ravel round
your finger, turn
justifiable

you said fuckn
now and forever
but i guess
that time is up

if forever’s over
can’t be wastin'
precious seconds
knockin' on a
door held shut

crimson, clover
turn them over
ashes, ashes
fuckn snort 'em up

swallow the drip
savor the flavor
in your fuckn gut
duck, shoot 'em up

ashes, ashes
all fall down
eat your darkness
and sorrows, drowned

fill your corners
with the hands
that pound
upon the
clock's face,
inhospitable

lightning
striking
the ground
in the same
place twice,
apparitional

eat your darkness
n take the
daylight to school
eat your darkness
n curb your
temperamental ghoul

gimme 28 grams
to still a tongue
prone to waggle
lucky this
dungeon's still young
n this ain't
the boss battle




"protect fuckn serve"

[v1]
to protect fuckn serve
the thinnest blue line
a lopsided
political spectrum,
unwind
this two-party septum
deviated, oh my
a cop sighted
so close in tow
portside
think i'll
brake-check him
this fuckn
employee of mine
residence in the
taxpayers' rectums
that's fine
been the same way
since the campaign's
inception, but why?



[v2]
long while now
11? 09?
see, can't
even recall
it's payin rent
in my mind
quite the dent
in its Chime
i charge what
amounts to an
arm and a leg
for my time
ain't got enough
for preferential rhyme
only so many hours
only so many bars
between the poles
of the sun's
imperceptible arc

try n hold on to
your ma'fuckin' minds
royalties for
the verse
have been paid
in dime bags n
time served
mark my words
fuckin' crook
you'll be feelin
the hurt
it's my turn
throw the book
leave a welt
throw your ass
in a cell
til the lasting
repercussions
are rightfully felt

(if you'll allow me
to set the scene)

warren county
indiana
land of windmills
crystal, and
conservative traits

where it counts
as probable cause
to have Illinois plates

if we hang 'em
upside down
we can scoop up
their loose change

you ask me
what i think
it takes to fuckin
get into heaven?
well, your heaven's
an illusion
best make use of
the "present"

too bad presently
you're a wasted existence
a deep breath of particulate
a wrapped gift with an ear in it

a wet shit left to sit
n ferment

in full and
with interest
to your badly-timed
poorly-thought
seemingly unscripted
trouble-talented
blitzkrieg

still polling
my shitlist
for your ill-advised
sorely fraught
morality-conscripted
juggled, fragmented
witness
caught in the
assiduous trismus
been cemented
as litmus




"rude awakening"

[v1]
this depression’s
progressing
gaining in
aggression
not long now
reigning in
a monoamine
recession

(stimulate)

is fixin’
on settlin’
a lengthy
emergency
session
n i’m fuckn
regressing
a Paleocene
bookend

(immolate)

makin its
first n final
impression
the jury’s
in recess and
my attorney’s
on his laurels
just coastin’

(assimilate)

spent over a
millennium
of perilous tedium
immortals are
boastin’
tribulations
neither novel
nor engrossing

(vindicate)

but the world
at large still chokes
drops the ball
in the stadium
gluttonous
swallows it all
n forgets to chew

(asphyxiate)

oxygen lost
our of phase
on its way
to the cranium
umbrageous
in malaise
til it turns
fuckn blue

(sufficate)

i fuckn wish
i were kidding
but i’m beginning
to feel as though
we’d all be
better off
if we dropped
to our bellies
n returned
to the stew

this morning
Murphy’s law
achieved the
proper effect
all arise
in the chapel
when i’m
fully erect
watch the dots
disconnect
bloating n
bleating
for vivisect
competing

this womb’s
fucking fleeting
your god’s
fuckn dead
choked, gasped
a Bible Belt
fuckn wrapped
round his neck
a crucifix
protrudin
the River Styx
eluding
his congregation
is bleeding
his message
is burning
misinterpret
forgotten
distorted
with no
comprehension
of the words
that they’re
reading
still, they
drink it
like poison
barely thinking
as though
dying for
nothing
somehow
gives their
lives meaning


[rap chorus / verse ending](repeat x2)
how can
you feel
so entitled
to a life
after death
and let your
hands grow
idle in
the years
you have left?


[hook]
there’s a
rude awakening
uh huh
there’s a
rude awakening
that’s a’comin’
to you

there’s a
rude awakening
it’s true
there’s a
rude awakening
n it’s a’comin’
real soon


[v2]
is there a
gas main
or somethin'
runnin' under
your house?
with a hairline
passage
consistent
adament
a persistent
sarcoma, trickle
leakin' out
how the hell else
can you account
for the malevolent
sediment spewing
dysentery from
your mouth?
transubstantiate
your pores into
swelling bowels
the odors abhorred
by a missionary's
well (hell) spoken
and compelling
vowels

Adam, Eve and I.O.U.
hey, Yahweh!
i've got some
light to shed
and i'd appreciate it
if you'd take
some time to
reciprocate

(deep breath, okay)

is disposition
comorbid
with the
human
condition?
are we destined
or conditioned
to construct
and be boarded
in our own
fuckn prisons?

medications
be waning
n subtly
profaning
the sun n
the rain
riddle me
this one
maybe drop me
a plague, eh?

were you truly
offended by
The Catcher in the Rye
or the myriad
of covers that
smoked from the pyre
like a dark
fuckn tower?

really? (surprise!)
you've always
been a friend
and a fan
to Salinger?

never taken
a stand as
literature's
challenger?

or decreed
to a man,
"here is woman,
overpower her"

no pun, intent
but holy fuckn shit

have you ever
been called to
the oval office
to hear the
president pray?

huh? you've never
been invited to
D.C. at all, you say?




"golden"

[hook]
golden
today is golden
(so) golden
if every day was
golden


[rap chorus]
too long
years, in fact
i spent
on the shelf
contented
but hollow
satisfied
with myself
n fermenting

growin' soft
in the skull
passive, by heart
i was thinning
my skillset,
lamenting
my realm
and my own
lack of magic
in my artistic well
circumventing

all too often
i mull
over things
in my head
that i oughta
be forgetting


[v1]
rather than
just curling n
the fetal position
you can choose
point n shoot
maybe ease off
the fission
blow off emotion
into a bankable
sustainable, potable
n palatable emission
something moderately
notable to bless
the affliction
and to lessen the rope
of the resulting addiction

all the hours spent missin
in a lab or a kitchen
to drown the people, out livn
as if i dropped from existence

a dogan, dirac, a lost
fucking dimension
ya know, it ain’t what i want
nor what i’m seeking
or wishing
neither staging a coup
nor societal treason
isolation’s just a
side-effect of my intention

but i’m gettn too old
to fuckn ask for permission
forgiveness, it glistens
on the eardrums that listen

best case, i’m survived
by the things i created
i’m gonna do what i can
for the work i’ve been fated

imma be the best man
in the foreign land
i’ve curated
imma do my due diligence
to accomplish my mission
on the walk i’ve been slated
n the time i’ve been given
ain’t got enough left to piss it
to retrace, reclaim it

n today’s the day
promised since
i first got
commissioned

fuckin stand
at attention
there are gonna
be changes

imma comin
so brace it
this world is mine
for the taking

don’t worry
some a y’all
can keep livin in it
maybe

eh, i’ll allow it


[v2]
ya know
it ain’t what
you’re thinkin
it’s a living
commitment
like joinin
a cult
or startin up
a fuckin
brand-new religion

am i a
pot-smokin monk
or just a humble
musician?
am i pretender
or punk?
am i kavorka
to nuns?
honey-fuck
pucker up
let’s adjust
the position

this tainted
fuckin conduit
has finally
been christened

now the faucet
is open n
the tap to the left
go ahead
bet your ass
you’re about
to get wet

each n every
verse written is
a personal statement
as well as variation on
analeptic abatement

it’s for myself
that i do it
so don’t ya
float your
delusions
illusions
more oft than not
are wont to
be baseless

but some how
some why
i still crave
every day
some kind
of approval
from the
burgeoning throngs
of unrecognized faces

tell me
is the expression
in form
worth less
or worth more
than the depression
it warns of
the suns
it wards off
the long days
n slow clocks
the nights
full of nod-offs
cold, with nothing
n nobody
around to
hold on
for dear life
i’m lost, alone
in the forest
n i don’t
have a knife
pheromones
lying dormant
so i don’t
have a wife
my day job’s
a torment
can ya even
call it a life?
i’m just dreamin
n hopin somewhere
the fuckn punch
has been spiked




...stay tuned.

welcome to dusty

Maxwell Atkins
Dr. Unk
Scony Mack