open letter from turbine regalia by (EM)

i deserve to acknowledge
the painful
awkwardness that
remains from the real
pain i’ve inflicted

if i used you
i am sorry
even, maybe especially
if i didn’t mean to
or realize it at the time

my mind is always rewinding
the tape and playing it through
and i hate it, though i understand it,
and i definitely don’t hate you

i’m a captain aboard a ship that
cannot adhere to the wheel
i know, but that does not solve it

the memory’s uncomfortable
but i relive it to try to be better
i hope that begins
an apology to you,
and to others, and the world

and i understand if it isn’t
enough

i understand

• Punk
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• indie rock
• lo-fi
• post-punk
• shoegaze
• Stevens Point