ƑΣΣŁƬHƗƧ from ⦊ꓓΞṾǏṾΞꓷ⦉ by PJ Banfield

(Verse 1)
I lit a candle but it didn’t burn
Watched the flame just sit and turn
They said he passed, I didn’t flinch
Eyes dried up in a frozen clinch
The phone rang out like it held my name
But the silence hit me just the same
Family cried through the static line
I just nodded like I was fine

Med drip in my system, cold
Made my chest feel three years old
He raised me right, I watched him fade
But couldn’t weep, just sat and stayed
Held the frame with his smiling face
Felt the room, but not the weight
I talked to God with a knotted throat
But all I felt was a muffled note
And that’s when I hit the keys, SLOW!
Built a loop that let it flow
808s in my array
Woke up grief like it knew my name
One string bled, and I broke inside
Tears finally came I thought had died
I chanted soft with a cracked-up stare
Half in shock, half in prayer

(Hook)
Why can’t I feel this shit man?
Why can’t I feel this?
Why can’t I?
Why can’t I?
Why can’t I feel this shit man?
Why can’t I feel this?

(Verse 2)
Antipsychotics in my vein
Turned the sun to winter rain
Laughter fades, the hunger’s thin
Even my dreams feel caged within
Tried to scream with this in my vain
Turned the sun to winter rain
Laughter fades, the hunger’s thin
Even my dreams feel caged within
Tried to scream, but the sound was smooth
Like my rage had something to prove
Every funeral, I blink and nod
Like I’m just observing God
Did I lose my soul for peace?
Did I trade my voice for release?
Can’t get high, can’t get low
Just flatline where the rivers go
I write these lines to bleed control
But the echo skips and eats me whole
Only the beat can resurrect
What these pills were meant to deflect

(Bridge)
I see the picture frame, but not the man
I hold the air like it’s part of the plan
I know he’s gone, I know he’s dead
But the grief won’t sit, it just hides instead
Until the bass drops low
And the chords grow tall
And my mouth lets go
Like I lost it all

(Hook)
Why can’t I feel this shit man?!
Why can’t I feel this shit man?!
Why can’t I feel this shit man?!
Why can’t I feel this?!
Why can’t I?!
Why can’t I?!
Why can’t I feel this shit man?!

(Verse 3)
I feel it now
In every note
What mind buried
The beat wrote
I cry through chords
Not quiet prayers
I grieve through rhythm
Not medicated stares
Music saw me
When I was blind
Unlocked the tears
I couldn’t find

(Final Hook)
Why can’t I?
Why can’t I?
Why can’t I feel this?

Feel this...


• Country Trap
• Darkwave
• Drift Phonk
• Folk Trap
• Hardcore Rap
• Hardwave
• Hip-Hop/Rap
• Horrorcore
• Industrial Trap
• Nu-Metal
• R&B
• Sickwave
• Soul
• Trap Pop
• Los Angeles