Something Else from Gilded Prayer by David Lindstrom

Alone in some compartment, gas combustion, steel walls
Breathing in the ashes from a window that won’t close
I traverse the frozen parkway while my fingers numb on
The steering wheel’s cold

Then I’m merging into traffic, capillary to the vein
Catching glimpses of the faces beyond the lines in different lanes
A thousand untold thoughts behind those tainted windowpanes
I’d like to know…
Or I don’t…
I won’t.

Still later I’ll go back
And see my friends: red, blue, and green
Yeah, I know they’re only shadows
But they must be cast from something
I catch glimpses of their heaven
A face in mirrors, a trip at sea
While plastic air secrets
Out of my small window A.C.

God, please don’t hate me
For the shadows that surround me
I am a child, a helpless fawn
I am a blind man waiting… waiting for the dawn

Locked up in some compartment, static comfort, plaster walls
Dreaming through some pictures, each of them a lie I’ve told
The moods all manufactured, red eyes corrected
Skin perfected color tone

Still I idolize the past (mourning that that never was)
Feeling ever distant from the present it’s become
Am I a pusher? No, a user? Am I distressed? In ecstasy?
I’d like to know…
Or I don’t…
I won’t.

God, please don’t hate me
For the shadows that surround me
I am a child a helpless pawn
I am a blind man waiting… waiting for…

…

Now it seems life is a dream
Manifesting all that I could want
But I have found that all is grey
When I want for nothing
Nothing wants for me

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